Jul 27, 2007 - Fri: Heidi
Well, we leave for summer camp in about two days. I'm looking forward to it especially since Joey will be there this time. I was recounting to my mom one of last year's biggest summer camp memories and figure it might be a good read for the rest of you.

The morning we were set to leave camp to return home, I went to our charter bus to put my stuff on the front seat where I always sit (mainly because I get motion sick almost anywhere else on the bus). Almost as soon as I entered the bus I knew something was wrong. Now, Joey always kids me about having super heightened senses, especially hearing and smelling, but even a normal sensory person could have noticed this. It was quite unpleasant. I mentioned the smell to a few different leaders, none seemed too concerned. So, we load the kids on the bus (my super ears) hearing murmurs from the back about the smell. Again, I mention to the youth assistant sitting next to me that it smelled horrible. She said it would get better as we move. Well, that theory flew right out the window as we traveled about a mile down the road and began hearing the boys on the bus instruct the girls that this would be a great time for them to get out and use their perfumes. Just what we wanted...flowers and fruit mixed with poop.

We begin to question the driver. She enlightens us...apparently our bus came directly from another week-long trip when it first picked us up to take us to camp and the toilet tank (whatever you call those?!) did not have time to be emptied. We added to the already full tank and THEN our bus was the only bus left at the camp all week (not sure why), thus meaning our bus was now loaded to capacity with 2 full weeks of poops and pees that had been left in the hot sun the entire time we were at camp. You cannot even imagine. All I can think of is the FIVE hour bus ride ahead of us. As soon as I realize that, I'm of course thinking, "This cannot be healthy or sanitary for us to be breathing." After making my statement numerous times to the youth assistant (Oh Lanie!), she replies..."We were made to smell our poop. We smell it all the time when we go to the bathroom." "Lanie, we're not meant to be breathing in 2 week old poop and when we go to the bathroom we aren't locked in an airtight container with it for a long period of time."

Our driver radios to the other bus drivers (we have 4 buses altogether) and mentions our smell problem. We all pull over so that one of the male drivers can try packing the tank down and pour enzymes in it to help the smell. A heavyset man enters our bus wearing latex gloves, a surgeon mask, carrying a large stick and a box of something that looked like a milk carton, which I'm assuming were the enzymes. After a few minutes he returns and informs us that there was no room, the tank was completely full and almost overflowing. Seriously. I'm thinking, "Let's just pull over and empty the sucker on the side of the road." That, however, wasn't an option unless we wanted to pay thousands of dollars for committing a crime of improperly disposing of human waste.

At this point the search begins for either a sewage plant or a campground. Lanie and I disembark from the bus in a business park shopping center to begin asking anyone we can find for directions to a sewage plant. We start at a bank drive-thru (the only thing open there). Remember we are on foot - two blond girls walk up push the 'talk' button and have a conversation with the teller standing in a drive-thru lane. No help. At this point we've sent two vans also traveling with us ahead to drive around and scout out any campground possibilities. No such luck.

After a couple dead ends our fruitless search comes to end when we get word of a truck stop nearby that we can dump at. We travel to the truck stop only to discover it was right down the road from the camp we had left almost THREE hours earlier. We unloaded all the kids and made them each lunch while the bus drivers took care of business.

Here's to a poopless busride...
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